DANI DREAMS

Dear Dani,

You’re gonna see and do so much this decade. It’s gonna get rough sometimes, and scary, and exhausting, but it’ll be worth it.

Seventeen was a transformative year, as I remember. You’re finishing high school, taking your first community college class, learning (slowly) to drive. You’re gonna get drunk for the first time, discover a love for dresses, and your passion for drawing is turning into something much more than a hobby. Mama got sick that year, and you got just a little more resilient. You’re gonna need that resilience for years to come, baby, because life comes at you hard and fast.

The next few years are gonna be a whirlwind. You’re gonna move to San Francisco for school. You’re going to meet some amazing people and make really good friends. You’re gonna fall in love and have your heart broken a couple times. And later that year, you’re gonna face your biggest fear of life without our mama. Don’t worry, you won’t crumble into nothing, like you always thought you would. You’re made of stronger stuff than you think, and things are gonna be okay.

In a year, you’ll be better than okay. You’ll meet a really cute girl, and lucky duck, she thinks you’re cute too. The next five years with her are like a warm ray of sunshine on the soul, full of laughter and adventure and love. You two are married now, by the way. You’re welcome.

I’m not gonna sugar-coat it for you, Dani, because we’ve both been there in that darkness, and we know it doesn’t just go away. It’s hard to be alive. Even now, that pull towards the void is unrelenting, but you’ll find you’re tougher than anything life can throw at you. All those things you think are impossible? Driving, making friends, falling in love, living on your own, and dressing like the witchy princess of your dreams without a care in the world? Cake.

I’m proud of you, lil Dani, for getting us through all the hard times growing up. And I’m proud of us, for all we’ve accomplished since.

Love,

26-year-old Dani